Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
