Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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