How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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