is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
