So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
