Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok