i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
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