I puked a lego.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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