My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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