there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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