Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
