i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
