I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
only if we run a train.
done.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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