who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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