and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
