I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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