no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Panties = found
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
