..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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