The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
