you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
