you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
