too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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