What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
