You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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