girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
