why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
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What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
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It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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