we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
