He is such a slut. More and more my type.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
