His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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