new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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