Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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