I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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