i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
