ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
