I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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