Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
