absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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