Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
