you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
