So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
