Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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