i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i will never coherently bang her
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Randomize
