Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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