shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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