I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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