I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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