She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
