Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
