So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
