I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
