She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize