im having a threesome with these popsicles
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
