i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I forgot how hot balto sounded
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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