Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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