Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
