my sisters under your porch take her home
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
