I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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