I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
