I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
