I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
