We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
How does one acquire holy water?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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